I am coming to a continued realization tonight as I remind myself it is not about what I want but always about the plan that God has for me. It is hard for me to remember that I can’t control everything in my little earthly world. Even though I trust God and have been committed to him for quite sometime, I too am human. I also have trouble letting go whether it is work related, my kids, love, or life things that come up. Then I realized today when I was reflecting that I am not doing myself or God any favors. All this holding onto things out of my control only gives me sleepless nights and anxiety that I don’t need to have.
So what does this really mean? It means that whatever the struggle or outcome is, I accept. I will be okay. My family will be okay. Life will be okay, because as long as I am in the commitment whatever is going on is in the plan. That is all I really want. The plan. If the healing doesn’t come, so be it. God knows what he is doing and there is purpose and meaning in the struggle. Sometimes it’s not perfect and sometimes the plan hurts. But that heartache that we all feel is part of God’s as well. He is in charge of that heartache and he knows what we are dealing with. So I continue to remind myself to let him deal with it. I don’t want it. I don’t want the stress, the struggle, or the pain. I will deal with it, but ultimately I am lifting it up and asking him to take it all.
The freedom that comes with that mentality is profound and something I want to feel regularly. When was the last time you lifted up that struggle to God? I have prayed for years before knowing that he will do whatever he plans to do. Let it go, trust, and be patient. Keep praying and living life. It is up to God to figure it all out and let you know what you need to do. Freedom means allowing God to take over and you just need to relax and stay in the commitment.