It has been a long time since I have posted in my blog or written a post about The Commitment. Pretty sure that I make every excuse not to keep up with a weekly blog, so it truly is my fault for this current state of frustration I am in. I have been praying and fasting with my local church for a 21 day fast. Today is day 14. I really forget the importance of fasting. It is not just about giving up Earthly things during the fast, but it is also about seeking a deeper level of faith to gain answers to the questions that we so often have.

I absolutely love my commitment with God and all of the blessings that I have received because of my own commitment journey. I just don’t always know how to share it in the right way. I believed from the bottom of my heart that writing about my journey would help so many others but it just seems impossible to reach a real and large audience. I often doubt my book and wonder if it is good enough. I know that I am not the best author / writer out there but I just can’t help thinking that God put this message on my heart for a reason. I was trying to fulfill what I thought was part of my plan by writing this book, but somehow it seems like a failure. I have spent time and money attempting to get assistance with social media; it didn’t lead to much success. I often wonder if I should keep up with my website and this blog. How do people create awareness about their “missions” in life? Maybe this is just the Devil trying to keep me silent so that more people won’t learn about the commitment.

These are things that I am going to continue to pray about during the fast. Maybe my vision of what the book should be and God’s vision are completely different. Maybe I am not on the same page with God at all. Maybe I am not trying hard enough. What could be getting in the way of spreading the message of the commitment? After all these years I’m not sure it will go farther than it is at this moment.

There is something that I am sure of, and that is that God is faithful. I know that he has a plan for my life; he has already proven that. During this fast I hope to get back on the same page with God even if it means hearing the word “no”, “not now”, or “this isn’t going to work.” What I do know is that anytime I have heard those exact words from the holy spirit it doesn’t mean that my journey is over. It just means that my journey has some unexpected turns around the corner. I plan to seek him diligently for the rest of this 21 day fast and listen to all that God wants me to know. I feel better getting this out. I am working on realizing that I am not perfect, never going to be perfect, and don’t need to hide the fact that I have fears and doubts as well. That is why I love God so much. He is perfect and has the perfect plan for each of us and I still believe that it comes through the commitment we share with him.

What are you believing God for?…….