My husband and I were taking it back today with a little Guns ‘N’ Roses and their song “Patience”. First off, we are aware that music is completely different than what it used to be. We were able to appreciate the song and remember that we should listen to the music of our generation more often.
Second, we realized from hearing the lyrics that sometimes a little patience is just the right medicine to keep the stars aligned in the household and everything flowing smoothly. I’ll be honest, as a wife and mother, I never thought that the two greatest gifts would challenge my patience the most. My husband and I are pretty patient with each other but certainly have our moments. It is when I step into the role of motherhood that I really have to recognize and work on my level of patience. Sometimes I think that there is an expectation when God delivers a promise or answers a prayer that it comes with a layer of perfection. I have been reminded gently and in a loving way through my prayer, that his promises and gifts don’t always include perfection.
Not that I want things to be perfect because I want to continue to have a justification for God in my life. I certainly know that I am not perfect. It helps me to put things into perspective and realize that we all struggle with patience at times. Even the most precious gift or answered prayer can be challenging. This is a great reminder for me that God plans the path but I take the steps. He can’t control me, but he can help me control myself if I allow him to be involved in my thoughts, moves, decisions, and everyday steps that challenge me to be a better person all around.
Sometimes I just have to take a step back and remind myself to breath! Life is life and God is God. A powerful force that gives us the tools to navigate life and find an outlet to discover what patience really means. I don’t think that patience is a timeframe but rather a process to learning how to manage life in a way that is pleasing to yourself, family, and to God. Something I am going to continue to work on.
In the process of fulfilling what God is calling me to do, I have many roles. I am a wife, mother, author, and also a behavior therapist for the school district. As a person who has an education in social work and somewhat of a haunted past, I have always been drawn to the less fortunate, underprivileged, emotionally disturbed, and persons who are struggling in general. I have come to some conclusions that have helped me along the way not only be a better advocate for persons with behaviors, but also heal from my own past.
There seem to be two types of internal problems. There are the surface problems and the core problems. Just like an apple the surface would be the skin. The core would be the inner workings of that apple which includes the seeds. As complex humans we all have a surface and a core. When dealing with my students that have emotional and behavior disabilities I remember that they too have a surface and a core. The surface would involve the; noncompliance, refusal to work in school, hitting, kicking, biting, yelling, temper tantrums, and anything that they show outwardly. Often times, I have observed that the surface shows the stuff that the core can’t deal with.
It is the core that I have great interest and concern with. This would be the inner trauma and “damage” that a person or child has experienced. The longer the core goes unresolved it seems that the worse the behaviors become. Clearly there are answers to dealing with the core. There are coping skills and other techniques that allow a person to exhibit self control and begin to be a part of the solution. But what happens when a person (or child) doesn’t feel like they can control their core and experience a different way of dealing with things? I have certainly encountered many in this situation and continue to encounter these types of individuals.
As much as I try to follow the rules and be diplomatic; I continue to pursue the advice of a counselor which includes learning about one’s emotions, coping skills, tracking progress, and discussing results. This has always helped and continues to be a vital key ingredient for a person’s progress. However, as a person who struggled with her core, I feel compelled to admit that ultimately, I needed God. I needed him to come along side of me and change the parts of my core that failed me in terms of coping, talking, tracking. What I realized was more powerful then the damage that had been done. It was that God can change a heart. What’s in your core? Have you considered the divine intervention of God to help you change that core and rebuild or repair?
I am coming to a continued realization tonight as I remind myself it is not about what I want but always about the plan that God has for me. It is hard for me to remember that I can’t control everything in my little earthly world. Even though I trust God and have been committed to him for quite sometime, I too am human. I also have trouble letting go whether it is work related, my kids, love, or life things that come up. Then I realized today when I was reflecting that I am not doing myself or God any favors. All this holding onto things out of my control only gives me sleepless nights and anxiety that I don’t need to have.
So what does this really mean? It means that whatever the struggle or outcome is, I accept. I will be okay. My family will be okay. Life will be okay, because as long as I am in the commitment whatever is going on is in the plan. That is all I really want. The plan. If the healing doesn’t come, so be it. God knows what he is doing and there is purpose and meaning in the struggle. Sometimes it’s not perfect and sometimes the plan hurts. But that heartache that we all feel is part of God’s as well. He is in charge of that heartache and he knows what we are dealing with. So I continue to remind myself to let him deal with it. I don’t want it. I don’t want the stress, the struggle, or the pain. I will deal with it, but ultimately I am lifting it up and asking him to take it all.
The freedom that comes with that mentality is profound and something I want to feel regularly. When was the last time you lifted up that struggle to God? I have prayed for years before knowing that he will do whatever he plans to do. Let it go, trust, and be patient. Keep praying and living life. It is up to God to figure it all out and let you know what you need to do. Freedom means allowing God to take over and you just need to relax and stay in the commitment.
I remember when I re committed to God, and was attending a denominational church reflecting on the experience and feeling like it wasn’t enough. As I prayed, I realized that I had to come to terms with the idea that God may call me somewhere else to worship. This could mean giving up what I always thought was the only way. I recognized through this process that there is not really a “one way” in terms of worshiping and drawing closer to God. He did in fact call me to worship at a non denominational Christian church, and so I went to experience what would be a new awakening for me. I enjoyed this new church more then I ever thought that I would, and realized that it is okay to step outside of what I know if it is in fact what God is asking me to do.
God will ask us to do lots of things that we never thought we would do, but I have found that the unknown has led me to new experiences that are real and life fulfilling. It is not about living life one way or staying in the same spot because we think it is what we are supposed to do. It is more about being open to the idea that God has new possibilities that we would never before have considered. If what we already knew worked out to a divine plan with growth and prosperity, then we wouldn’t need God to lift us higher. His ways are higher and in the long run lead to more successes and deeper fulfilment.
The difference is that what I knew led me to an emotional plateau and what God had for me led to spiritual and emotional feelings that had not yet come to the surface of my heart. Once I trusted him and experienced this new church it made me realize that my potential with God is far greater then my own plan for my life. Don’t be afraid to trust the direction he leads you in.